No sign up just meet and fuck
So I would ping him occasionally, just enough to pique his interest and dangle the carrot of a possible relationship without ever actually following through with plans.
To use a sports metaphor (my first ever), he would be on the roster but not in play; I’d decided to bench him.
It’s despicable, manipulative, selfish behavior — and something we’re all want to pursue, but I haven’t formally broken up with them because why close that door if you don’t have to?
” Billy will take too long to respond to texts, always with an apology about how crazy work has been, then send two or three photos he’s taken just to make the exchange seem substantive.
The benchee is complicit because he wants Jean, a 31-year-old writer living in New York, thinks women are falling for the bencher’s perceived niceness. “I won’t actually hang out one-on-one because I want to avoid any confusion for her about my interests,” he says, “but I’ll still text with her, often a few days after those botched plans.
“The guys who’ve benched me are always doing the ‘How are you? She’ll say something like, ‘You’re too busy for me,’ and I’ll laugh and change the subject.
In a city where you can run into the guy who Gchat-dumped you or the jerk who ghosted after two months of dating, benching passes the sidewalk-run-in test exquisitely.“Maybe they’ll text them to get a quick ego stroke.But I think you’d be hard-pressed to find a woman who does this to a new guy she’s ambivalent about seeing.” Conor agrees: “Women, for the most part, still subscribe to the traditional dating idea that if the guy doesn’t reach out, it won’t happen.No, he corrects me, there is always someone doing the benching and someone being benched. “In a romantic scenario, you’re not going to go along with this unless you want to actually date the bencher. ’ But that’s literally sales 101: Ask questions so the buyer thinks you think they’re interesting.” Some might call it gaslighting, but benchers suffering from nice-guy syndrome may not even be trying to exploit the situation.If I were to pull this on someone who’s over the idea, he just wouldn’t respond. Conor, a 28-year-old law student in New York, says he’s often ignored advances from females in his life — but will continue to text and “spend time” with them while at school or in the workplace.